


The first of our kind(ness)

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Can be read as OT4, Cinderbrush (Web Video) - Freeform, Dark Magic, Eye Contact, Gun Violence, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mostly Gen, Other, Past Violence, Recreational Drug Use, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22798018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: His new powers are strange and frightening, and Cameron is at the end of his tether when it comes to dealing with them on his own, but thankfully, he knows the most magically gifted person in town, and he knows exactly who he needs to go to.And their name is Jamie fucking Wrenly.
Relationships: Cameron Solomon & Jamie Wrenly
Comments: 11
Kudos: 105





	The first of our kind(ness)

**Author's Note:**

> You guys, I really love all these characters, but I think I have a crush on Cameron? And Ashley is really hot so that's a plus. I have so many questions about this show. Aff goes by their initials, so is it spelt AF, Af or Aff?? Jamie goes by both they/him pronouns (it says so on the seating arrangements on the projector and they are referred to by him a couple of times) so what do I refer to them as? (Please let me know if I slipped up at all because I used they/them just in case but I've read this like 8 times and I'm still not sure if it's all right). Do they know what they are? Like, do they know that Sasha's a Queen and controls the hive and that Cameron is called an Infernal? I know nothing about this game except for the Powered by Apololypse controls because of TAZ Amnesty. But I love this group so much. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it because I'm really proud of it xx

Cameron was sure that he was going crazy.

Sure, maybe the new kid was a werewolf and Amanda the horse girl was dead and it was all Susie’s fault, but he knew that there was something still not right with Cinderbrush. Not right with _him_.

Susie had been right. He was having dreams, hearing voices, having visions. A voice whispering in his ear, constantly nagging at him like someone poking their fingers into his brain, to let loose, that he could be so much more, that he was holding himself back by ignoring the voice and the power that he could feel thrumming through his veins. And he could feel it, the power. He wasn’t sure what it was at first, but when the voices got louder and harder to ignore, he realized that the new thing, the anger that boiled up within him, the raw power that shook his body to the core, was more than just a fleeting waking nightmare.

And while being back with Sasha was… it was great. It was better than great. It was all Cameron had ever wanted, her hand in his, her lips on his, her body… well. He thought he wanted it. But now, now that she knew how twisted and wrong he was and made the decision to stick around anyway, all he could think about when she was near was keeping her distance from this… this thing that he couldn’t control or understand, this dark thing that he had become. She tried her best to help him through it, to reassure him that she would love him no matter what, and Cameron believed her, he did, but he hated the way she looked at him whenever he couldn’t stop the green mist from leaking out of his eyes like water from a broken kitchen tap. 

He had no doubt that Sasha would be happy to hear any concerns he had and that the Aff was nice enough to listen, though their situations were the exact opposite, Cameron’s new predicament was so dark and complicated that there was only one person he could turn to.

As soon as he could, Cameron needed to talk to Jamie.

Jamie was many things. Weird. Freaky. A drug dealer. An easy shoulder to lean on. A willing ear to vent to. A fashion icon. But most importantly, Jamie knew magic, knew darkness, and would probably know about the poison pumping through his veins instead of blood. Jamie had a different kind of darkness, a darkness that they had learnt how to control, and Cameron knew that Jamie was his only hope.

His parents were being difficult again. Well, ‘difficult’ was being too nice- they were being terrible, as always. His mother gave him a disdainful look before climbing the stairs and slammed the door to their bedroom as she watched him from the window as he departed, and his father had chewed his ear out he had found out that he was leaving again. They didn’t like Jamie for some strange reason, as if Jamie was any worse of an influence than Aff and Sasha were. In fact, Jamie was less of a disaster- Jamie had standards and though they were cryptic and snarky, they had a moral code. Nobody could figure out what it was, but it definitely existed. 

Cameron was forced to ride his bike to the quarry because his dad had snatched the keys from the coffee table before he could reach them with a smug look on his face, and by the time Cameron arrived at the familiar bumpy landscape that made up the less-travelled road to the sanctuary, his legs were burning and his heart thumped painfully in his chest. It normally wouldn’t have had such an effect on him, but he’d been so worked up with his parents that…

He really needed to talk with Jamie.

Off by the side of the entrance of the deep cave, hidden by an outcropping of rock, Cameron saw Jamie’s electric scooter discarded on the ground, and he stashed his bike beside it, leading it up against the wall. It was reassuring to know that they were already there.

Footsteps lead towards the mouth of the cave, and Cameron followed them, hands in his jacket pockets. Jamie’s sanctuary was familiar, with its outcroppings filled with unknown things and the bags in the corner and a shelf they had dragged in to store their drugs. A lot of things, Cameron had no idea about and didn’t even know where to start figuring it out, but he knew a lot more now than he did before.

Jamie was inside, muttering Latin words under their breath as they stirred something around in a vile. It looked a little bit like mud with sticks and herbs but then Jamie added something shimmering and a blue plume of smoke rose from the vial, and the mud-like liquid turned a deep magenta. “What are you doing?” Cameron asked as he entered the cave.

When Jamie turned around at Cameron’s approach, their wide-brimmed hat and red-tinted sunglasses obscuring their face in shadow. “Making a little something for Sasha. Nice to see you, by the way.”

“Sasha doesn’t do drugs,” Cameron frowned as he walked around the cave, taking note of all the new things that Jamie had accumulated. 

Shaking their head, Jamie corked the vial and wrapped it in cloth before carefully putting it aside. “It’s not drugs. It’s a sleeping draught. She’s been riled up since that thing with Susie and the Horse Girl, so she asked me to fix her up. Normally, I wouldn’t make it so obvious, what with the glowing purple liquid and all, but her parents are never home, so it doesn’t make too much of a difference. Besides, I thought she’d appreciate some kind of… _flair_.”

Wincing, Cameron continued inside as Jamie took off the gloves that they used when working with caustic materials and couldn’t help but wonder what they had been doing. He couldn’t feel a little bit guilty after what had happened. He was the only one who hadn’t gotten hurt, and even now, Jamie’s naturally fluid and graceful gate was stiff and accompanied by a limp more often than not. Sasha’s leg ached when it was cold, and she wore longer shorts and dresses to cover up the scar. Aff’s middle was scarred with healed slashes and cuts from when they had approached the cultists, and every now and then they rubbed at it as if it burned them. Cameron had only suffered a tiny little scratch from Aff at the very end of the battle. He was fine. Even now, in their crop top with the long flowy cardigan and ripped jeans, the white bandage wrapped around Jamie’s middle was unusual and wrong, and Cameron felt a bout of metaphorical pain every time he looked at it. It made him think of the way Jamie’s torso exploded outwards through their chest, the nozzle of a gun still smoking up against their skin, ash on the wound, blood pouring down their back and their eyes glazing over with fear and their lips widening as blood gurgled in the back of their throat-

 _You could have saved them_ , the voice teased him, echoing whispers that seemed to drown out all sound around him as his vision went dark, and closed him in until he was blinking spots out of his eyes. _You knew what was going on before the others did. You knew not to trust Terrance. You should have been better. You should have tried harder. You heard Susie- there’s so much more you could do, so much more you could be, but you threw it all away for-_

“Hey,” Cameron was wrenched from the thoughts that weren’t his own by Jamie snapping their fingers in front of his face and speaking sharply yet concerned. “Earth to Cameron. What’s going on? Are you alright?”

“Oh,” Blinking, Cameron stumbled back, feeling dizzy and short of breath and caught himself against the wall to balance himself. “Uh- yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m OK.”

Jamie looked at him for a few long, tense moments before they made a face and turned away, their light overcoat swishing behind them. “You’re terrible at that. Telling people you’re fine when you’re not. But that’s cool. You’re fucked up, and it’s obvious, but I don’t give enough fucks to push my luck.”

Confused, Cameron followed after them, not quite sure what to say to that. “You’re uh… you’re wearing new clothes.”

“I do own more than one outfit, you know. I’m not Aff.”

“I’m just used to you wearing your work clothes. You know, the ones that say you’re open for business.”

“I think it’s safe to assume that I’m not in business then.”

Licking his lips, Cameron shoved his hands back into his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. Jamie had their back to him, rifling through some components and nicknacks at the back wall. Cameron thought he saw a set of neatly arranged teeth, a few toenails, a clump of brown hair with platinum blonde highlights, a pair of glasses with a cracked lens… He could only imagine what Jamie needed these items for and who they belonged to.

It was obvious that Jamie was waiting for something and trying to seem disinterested. They knew that Cameron wasn’t supposed to be there, at least, not yet- Aff was going to pick him up and take both him and Sasha to the hideout later that day after Aff’s shift at the liquor store, so the fact that he was there early meant that he was there for a reason. Cameron had come here early for a reason and it seemed like a waste of everyone’s time if he didn’t follow through.

“I uh… I actually came to ask you for some advice,” Cameron said eventually as Jamie turned slowly around to face him and he began running his hands through his hair subconsciously before Jamie raised an eyebrow at him and he dropped it to his side. “For something really… really important.”

“Oh, god,” Jamie groaned. “You know I’m shit at giving personal advice. But if it’s about your horrible parents, all you have to do is say the word and I’ll take care of them, simple as that.”

“Tempting,” Cameron laughed. “But uh, actually, this about something a lot more serious, and you’re the only person who I can think of that might be able to help me. Or, at least, help me understand.”

Frowning, Jamie pulled their sunglasses down the bridge of their nose so Cameron could see their piercing eyes. He had seen them without the glasses before and knew that when it really mattered and all their chips were in, those eyes could be as black and empty as pitch and just as deadly. “Oh shit, this is serious then? Not just your average, ‘I took too much at a party and now I’m freaking out’ or ‘I don’t remember the last 24 hours and now I’m being accused of something that may or may not have happened’ kind of thing? Like, actual serious stuff?”

“Uh, yeah, nothing like that,” Cameron swallowed and it felt like shards of broken glass slicing at the inside of his throat. A deep, cackle-like-rumble vibrated in his chest, and Cameron did his best to ignore it. “I’ve uh… I’ve been having these dreams. About a demon, I think. I think it’s a demon, at least, because I don’t know what else it could be. And about what it could potentially give me. What it has given me already.”

Jamie’s eyes went wide as they processed the new information. “Oh my god. Cameron Solomon, you absolute fucking idiot.”

“What?” Cameron protested as Jamie walked around them, looking him up and down, lifting his arms and pulling at his clothes and searching him for something indescribable. “I didn’t do anything! I literally had no control over this.”

“You mean to tell me that you gave into the bullshit Susie was spewing?” Jamie shook their head as they grabbed Cameron by the sides of his face, their rings cold against his cheeks, their nails sharp but comfortingly so, as they looked into his eyes as if looking into his very soul. “Come on, Solomon, I thought you had more willpower than that.”

For some reason, Cameron couldn’t bring himself to blink and look away. He had never really seen Jamie’s eyes before. They were nice. “This honestly has nothing to do with Susie. It happened… way before that. Over the summer.”

Wide-eyed, Jamie paused. “Over the summer,” they said dully. “Around the same time you and Sasha broke up, I assume?”

“Yeah,” Suddenly, Cameron’s mouth was very dry, and this time, he did manage to pull his eyes away. “Around that time.”

Shaking their head so their hair tickled the slightly exposed skin of his neck, Jamie pulled away, and Cameron missed their contact already. It was nice. He didn’t get a lot of gentle contact, not from his parents, and he and Sasha were still trying to get back into the groove after being separated for so long. “Fucking hell, Cam,” Jamie said, but for some reason Cameron couldn’t identify, their words were soft and genuine. “Why have you come to me? Why do you think I’ll be able to help?”

“I don’t know,” Cameron admitted, voice quieter than he had expected it to be. “It’s just… you’re _you_. You’re _Jamie fucking Wrenley_ , the coolest, most mysterious kid in town! Out of all the people I know in Cinderbrush, you’re the only one I know who could help me with this. I don’t… I don’t even know what the hell is going on, with the dreams and the voices and the…'' he trailed off, gulping. It was even a struggle to talk about, and he looked up at Jamie with the most pleading puppy-dog eyes he could muster, hoping that they could infer the rest. 

Honestly, Jamie wanted to say fuck no, wanted to put their wall back up and tell Cameron to go bother Sasha or Aff about his new mystic-somewhat-demonic abilities and to leave Jamie the fuck out of it, but the more they thought about it, the more they realized that they really were the only person who had any hope of dealing with this shit. “Alight,” they said eventually and Cameron visibly relaxed. “Uh- why don’t we sit down. I have a feeling we’re going to be here for a while, and if I have to have a conversation like this, I’d like to have it somewhere comfortable.”

Diligently, Cameron followed them to a corner of the room, devoid of pentagrams made of chalk and salt or spell components or body parts of other people. “I uh… I’ve been hearing voices. Well, one voice, really, but it’s a voice that’s not my own.”

“If you had told me that earlier, I have a drug for that. Homemade,” Jamie hummed as they pulled out a leather-bound book, also seemingly homemade, and brought it to their lap. “What do they say?”

“I mean, you know,” Cameron got awkward suddenly and wrung his hands together in his lap as he watched Jamie idly open the tome and flick through the pages. “Tells me that I’m no good enough, that I could be so much more, that if I let myself give in to this new… thing… that I could be unstoppable.”

“Ah,” Jamie said. “A classic case of a depressive episode. I’ve got drugs for that, too, but unfortunately, this particular strain isn’t homemade.”

Cameron shook his head and impatiently shoved his hair away when the movement dislodged some strands that fell in his face. “No, I don’t think it’s depression. I’m not sad or empty. I’m just… I’m always _angry_. But I don’t… I don’t think it’s my anger? I mean, it doesn’t feel like it, anyway. That’s why I go to those anger management classes with Aff. I mean, I’m not at risk of turning into an uncontrollable giant werewolf every time I lose my cool, but… I still don’t like what it does to me.”

Humming, Jamie looked up from their book for a moment to pull their glasses down to the tip of their nose. “Is that why your parents have been a little tougher as of late? I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re absolute pieces of shit which only amplifies when I’m around so maybe I’m not the best judge of their character, but is that why they’ve been worse than normal, right? Because you’ve been getting angry for no reason? Blowing up in their face and now they think you’re a delinquent?”

“Exactly,” Cameron nodded, glad that Jamie understood and he didn’t have to explain. Satisfied, they turned back to their book. “I’ve been so worried about it that I broke up with Sasha to keep her safe. I don’t know what’s going on with me. Susie said that I made some kind of deal, but I don’t know what I offered or anything like that. But… everything she said, everything she did… it was so accurate. I can do all of that too, and I’m not sure I like it." Finally, Cameron’s curiosity peaked, and he acknowledged the book in Jamie’s hands. “Uh… what exactly is that?”

Reading, Jamie absently replied, “You’d probably call it a spellbook, but it’s more of a diary.”

“You _found_ a _spellbook_? With real, actual, functional spells inside?”

“No, I _made_ a spellbook,” Jamie laughed, but it didn’t sound demeaning. “And it’s less full of spells and more of… hm. Things that, over time, I’ve found work for me. Certain phrases that trigger certain things, how to increase the intensity and range of my spells, things that help me channel it. Writing it down is easier to remember. It’s not a real spellbook, but it’s got everything I need for my spells.”

“And you think that a spell in there is going to help you figure out what’s wrong with me?” Cameron asked, hating how hopeful he sounded. Why was he so desperate to get rid of this? 

He felt especially guilty when Jamie looked at him with an eyebrow that rose over their sunglasses. “I mean, I think I sort of know what’s wrong with you, but this will give me an idea based off of things I’ve already seen. I’ve only met one angry smoke person like you once, and I have no idea if she’s even still alive, so we’ll just have to make do with what I’ve got.”

“Wait, you’ve seen this before?” Cameron frowned. “How?”

Jamie laughed sweetly. “Oh, Cam, come on. Do you think you’re the only freak in Cinderbrush? I’m a _literal_ witch. You’ve seen me cast spells. You’ve seen the new kid turn into a fucking werewolf. And Sasha? She’s the most effective Queen I’ve ever seen. She’s got those three idiots under her thumb.”

Blinking hard, Cameron recoiled. “Wait, Sasha’s a queen?”

“No,” Jamie rolled their eyes. “Sasha’s _the_ Queen. The only one I’ve ever met, now that I think about it. What, you thought she was just… normal? Did you see what she fucking did to Susie? She broke that poor girl with nothing but a few sweet words and a smile. She kissed _me_ for fucks sakes, and you know that I've got no time for romance, but I didn't push her away, that's for sure.”

“I mean, I suppose I knew that something was up,” Cameron said. “I just… I didn’t know that everyone had… names.”

“Yeah,” Jamie said. “Wait until you meet your first Fae. Shit gets crazy. They love to party.”

Cameron didn’t know what he could say to that, so he decided not to say anything, and leant over so he was looking at Jamie’s book upside down. “Is there information about… me, in here? Or, I mean, what I am?”

“Probably,” Jamie replied cryptically. “Tell me more about whats going on with you while I look?”

There was so much going on with him that he didn’t even know where to start, but Cameron was willing to oblige, if only because it was Jamie and they were the best hope he had of getting through this all in one piece. “Uh, whenever it talks to me, or I talk to it, or I accidentally use one of the new ‘gifts’ it’s given me… well, you saw it with Susie. Green smoke comes out of me. Out of my eyes. It really god damn freaky. I try not to do it too often, but I did when we were looking for Amanda, and Sasha caught me.”

Jamie nodded like all of that made perfect sense. “Green smoke,” they repeated. “Out of your eyes? You’re right, that’s a freaky place for it to come from. But you’re sure that there’s a thing that's talking to you and not just a figment of your imagination?”

“Yeah, it’s definitely something,” Cameron replied. “Sometimes it tells me to do things. I’m usually pretty good at ignoring it, but there have been times that I’ve concentrated so much on ignoring it that I kind of blackout for a little bit. That’s usually when I end up getting angry, I think. Right after.”

“Hm,” Jamie said as they listened, lost in their own little world of mystic and magic. “Well, as long as you’re not doing any of the things it tells you too, then I’m sure you’re probably fine.” They paused for a moment and looked up from their book. “Cam? You know that you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, right?”

Cameron blinked. “What?”

With a hint of a smile, a little sadder than before but still full of genuine kindness, Jamie put their book aside and reached a hand out to cup the side of Jamie’s face. Cameron instinctually closed his eyes as their nails scratched at his skin- not painfully, but it was a nice feeling, and Cameron felt his eyes flutter shut as their breath ghosted against his face. “We’re all friends now. It’s alright if you’re figuring things out and you’re not too sure about yourself yet. We’re all here for each other now. Whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to do it alone. We can help.”

“I know,” Cameron hummed as he lost himself in the comforting feeling of Jamie’s nails stroking his skin and their soft hands cupping his face. It was nice. Different. “That’s why I’m here, remember? For your help? It’s just… hard.”

“It’s always going to be hard,” Jamie said. “But it’ll get better. It always gets better. Maybe not in the ways you expect or the ways that you want, but it will, over time.”

There were so many things that Cameron wanted to say, and he felt tears sting the back of his throat and prickle in his eyes as he contemplated ridding Jamie’s face of that smug look by throwing himself on them for a hug he thought that they both needed, but then there was noise by the mouth of the cave, and he stiffened instinctually thinking they’d been caught, and he didn’t see Jamie’s eyes behind their red-tinted glasses but he thought the saw them smiling as long arms wrapped around his torso from behind and fingers rubbed over his chest. “Hello dears,” Sasha purred into his ear. “Starting the night without us?”

Aff entered behind her and joined them in the middle of the wide, open cave, hands in their pockets, bouncing on the balls of their feet. They really did look like a big dopey puppy in the best way possible, and now that they knew their furry little secret, the juxtaposition was oh so sweet. “Um, is everything alright? You guys, uh, you look a little on edge. And… intimate. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong at all,” Jamie said, shooting them one of their customary disarming smiles. Aff melted right into it. “Cameron just came to me for help with his little… problem.”

“Problem?” Sasha frowned. “What kind of problem?”

“Oh, nothing, just his newfound anger management issues, the green smoke that comes out of his eyeballs and the demon he sees in his dreams who gives him magical abilities,” Jamie replied politely, and though Sasha didn’t seem happy about it, she seemed satisfied with the answer. “So nothing much.”

“Do you need some help?” Aff suggested, seeming unsure and tentative but genuine nonetheless. “We both go to the anger management course together, so if you want, I can help you out with that bit, you know? I’ve been a freak much longer than you have. I’m happy to help.”

Jamie took their hands off of Cameron’s face at the same time Sasha bent down lower and her hair brushed against his collarbones. “I could get the hive to do some research if you want. They might not be able to find anything but if Susie knew about it then I’m sure other people have in the past, right?”

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure this is the kind of thing you can just Google on the school computer,” Cameron laughed. “But thanks, guys. That… that means a lot.”

Aff laughed again, and the sound was so infectious that everyone else found themselves laughing as well. “Don’t sweat it! What did you think we were going to do? Hear that you were having a rough time and ignore you? We’re friends now, dude. Us freaks gotta stick together, right? But we’re here for a reason, aren’t we?” they pointed at Jamie, who lowered their sunglasses again to look at them over the red-tinted lenses, their eyebrows wagging in a way that made Aff blush and stammer as a smirk curled at the edges of their lips. “Uh- you said you were going to show us how you made your drugs. Right? Are you still going to do that? Because when you said it I was a little unsure but now I’m really curious about how you make your own magic drugs and now I just-”

Jamie held up a well-manicured hand and Aff froze, the words stuck in their throat, the blush on their cheeks hot and bright. “We don’t call them drugs, love,” Jamie said gently, a wicked yet familiar edge to their words. “We call them…” they waved their hand as they looked for the word. “Supplements.”

“Candy,” Cameron added, a little breathless.

“Supply,” Agreed Sasha, preoccupied with placing butterfly kisses on Cameron’s skin. 

“Exactly,” Jamie nodded. “All of the above. But yes- my stash is running low, and I have to make some more sooner or later, and I don’t mind doing it with an audience. Sure. Just don’t… try anything until I tell you it’s alright.”

Poor Aff looked confused. “But you used such silly names back at the party. What did you call them- the Seven Dwarves?”

Laughing, Jamie reached out and pulled Aff down beside them on the ground and they obliged with a yelp. “Oh, my dear puppy dog, there’s so much of the world you have to learn.”

“Yes,” Sasha murmured, occupied with Cameron’s lips. “Let us corrupt you. It’s about time you had some negative influences in your life.”

Aff, breathless and prostrate on the floor between the three of them, laughed nervously but excitedly. “Yeah. Sure. OK. I think I’m alright with that.”

Maybe Cameron was going crazy. Maybe his life had gone to shit and now he had to deal with green smoke and nightmares and anger and visions and a demon's voice in the back of his head, but at least he doesn’t have to deal with it alone.

He laughed against Sasha’s lips as he thought about how stupid he was, thinking he was ever alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, you guys I am 100% on the OT4 bandwagon, but I have no idea how to write smut. I've done an OT3 (Joyfire for those wondering) but I don't know how I would go about doing this, so if you want to read this as OT4, then go right ahead. I hope you enjoyed it xxx
> 
> (I've also realized that I write Jamie the same way I write Molly which is very, very pleasing)  
> (Also also, Cameron gives me total Jason from Power Rangers (2017) vibes and I will stand by that until I die)


End file.
